Just Off The Key Of Reason
by Miss Sassy
Summary: Slight AU. "Dylan Marvil is dead, Josh told himself. That was the end of the story." All she left behind was an email, explaining how Josh, and the rest of their old friends, played a part in her death. No final pairings yet.
1. Introduction

**A/N So, I'm starting a new story. It's kinda based on **_**13 Reasons Why**_**, where a boy is sent tape from his friend who committed suicide, explaining the 13 reasons why she killed herself. Sorry that this introduction is so short, but I needed to get this part out quickly.**

Lounging comfortably back on his electric green beanbag chair, his Toshiba laptop balanced carefully on his lab, Josh Hotz nodded his head to the pulsing beat of Fall Out Boy. Hitting the keys lightly to get to AOL, the preppy voice greeted him with a happy, "You've got mail!" Scrolling the mouse into his inbox, he read the list.

**From**: Dylan Marvil **Subject:** (no subject) **Attachments:** Yes

Josh felt his lip break into a cold sweat. No. Just…no way. Dylan wasn't alive. She had died a week ago. He needed to get over it. This was probably someone playing a sick, sick, sick, sick joke on him. Even so, he couldn't help but click on the email.

_Hey guys! No, I'm not alive. I'm dead. You can delay emails now, you know that? Fancy, huh?_

_Anyway, I was thinking about whether or not I was really going to do this, and I decided to take a look back. So, I went and looked back through my old stuff, and I found my ol' BOCD yearbook. And I remembered you guys. The PC and those Briarwood boys we were so in love with. And I wanted you all to know why. All nine of you. So, here are nine tracks. Nine files you can download onto your iTunes and listen to whenever you want. These tracks talk about what you did. How you played a part in my death, and yes, you all played a part in my death. This is just in case you wanted to know._

_Love, Dyl_

Josh stared blankly at the nine attachments, nine mp3 files lined up at the end of the message. _Track 1, Track 2, Track 3…_ One of those tracks was about him. But at the same time, one of then was about Derrick, Massie, even Dylan's best friend Kristen. Each of them had played some part in her death…should he listen?

He read over the email again, slower. She was so blunt… _"No, I'm not alive. I'm dead."_ She made the words sound easy to her. She didn't used to be like that. She used to be so bubbly, so full of life. She seemed like their girl who could make anyone comfortable, even when they were only 12 years old. But high school had changed her. Anyone could see that. After her sister died, she became withdrawn, scared. She didn't want to let anyone in, and nobody seemed to want to try to get in and help. Even Kristen started to back off. But still, how could anyone know that, one day, Dylan Marvil would go home and swallow a bottle of ammonia left by the maid? Who knew?

As these thoughts chased themselves around Josh's head, he knew what he had to do. He downloaded the first file, and, before he could sop his rush of sudden adrenaline, he pressed play.


	2. Massie

**A/N So, I was so happy with the response I got to this. Thank you to everyone who reviewed so so so so so much. Twelve reviews on one chapter…damn. Never done that well before. Also, I need ideas for pairings. I'm not really into the whole cannon pairings, but let me know. You want it, I'll write it.**

"_Well, let's start with the queen bee herself. Massie Julie Block. Self proclaimed alpha, leader of the PC…basically, the girl you didn't want to piss off."_

She got that right. Massie could instantly feed anyone to the social piranhas, and they would quickly be eaten alive, sliding in a quick descent down the rungs of the social ladder.

"_So, you may think that Massie was too bossy and controlling, and that was what was wrong with her. Well, yes. She was. But that wasn't really what was wrong with her. I encouraged it. I wanted, no, needed someone else in charge. Back in middle school, I needed someone to be there, coaching my every move. I didn't want to be the one everyone followed, because I was afraid I would fall on my face. That was what did me in, in the end. Not being able to take charge of my own life. Having been so dependant on Massie to run my life for me, I was just…screwed when the PC fell apart._

_Oh, I bet you don't know that story. Well, I guess I'm betting that you're a Briarwood boy right now. Of course, Massie, Alicia, Kristen, and Claire all know this story. But I want you guys to hear it from my point of view."_

I pressed pause. This was almost too much. We used to all be such good friends. Hanging out, thinking we were all cool, going to the movies, all of us. Dylan used to be one of my favorites. She was distinctively different. She was funny. She was nice. She got along with us boys the best. You got the feeling she wasn't trying to impress anyone when she talked, she was just trying to be Dylan Marvil. When the Pretty Committee broke up, it all changed. We couldn't hang out anymore, because some of those girls just _hated_ each other. Derrick, Cam, Kemp, Chris and I could never figure out exactly why.

"_It was a Thursday. Did you guys know that? I remember. A Thursday. It was sometime in July. It was before we were all about to leave on that summer's remarkable and extravagant vacations after freshman year. Doesn't that sound fancy? 'Extravagant.' I feel so smart saying a word like that."_

I could believe how calm she was. She talked as if it was as normal as reading from a science textbook.

"_Anyway, we were all gathered around a table at the Paper Lantern. You _must_ remember that. The Chinese place on 5__th__? Anyway, I was slurping down noodles when Leesh spoke up._

'_Ew Dylan. That has so much fat and just…stuff in that. Aren't you on a diet?'_

_Remember that, Alicia? We hadn't been getting along up until that point, but that comment was just too much. I didn't want friends who called me fat when I wanted to eat some real food! So, instead of shoving it away, as I'm sure you thought I was going to do, I started eating as fast as I could and as grossly as possible._

"_Ah, man. You should have seen it. The look on your faces, guys. You were looking at me with complete shock and disgust. Yes, even you Claire. Sometimes angels make the biggest bitches. But more on you later._

"_So, I'm watching you all flip out, and all of a sudden, I'm angrier than I've ever been before. So mad, I just start yelling. 'What kind of friends are you?' is something I remember saying. And who should speak up but you, Massie. You gave me the dirtiest look and just said, 'Dylan, we're just trying to help. We care about your image. Don't you? I mean, where would you be without it?'_

"_Massie, do you realize how awful that sounds now? Can you listen to what I'm saying and think, 'Omigod, I cannot believe I said that, how horrible of me!' 'Cause right now, I am really hoping that that's what you're thinking. But I can't be sure that it was. Or is. Or…whatever._

"_Do you wanna know how that made me feel when I heard that? Like a piece of meat. Or a friggen doll. I was your little dress-up toy, one of the dolls in a set where you could just open them up and control every single thing I did. And when I realized that you had been controlling my life, basically, I wanted out. Like, right then. I wanted to leave you and never come back to your little cult. _

"_So, that was what I did. I left. I just stormed right out of there, not so much as glancing back. And you wanna know what I was thinking as I left? 'Ha ha, sucks for them, I didn't pay for those noodles.'"_

My lips curled. That sounds like something Dylan would say. "Sucks for them." She would say it all the time, than giggle in her oh so cute way. Shaking my head slightly, I pushed the smile back down. Dylan was gone. I needed to remember that. But…I needed to hear her voice. Having these tracks was like having a little bit of her back. The happy sweet Dylan I remembered. The one I needed to remember.

"_As you can see, no remorse. Because I honestly didn't care. I didn't give a crap about you, or your future, or the Pretty Committee. Because even though we thought that we were the ones that didn't fawn over Massie like the people we called 'LBRs' did, we were the worst off all. Massie doesn't like your make-up? Fix it. Massie doesn't like that dress? Don't buy it. While we were making fun of 'EWs', it was us that were the 'eternal wannabes' all along._

"_But I have other stories about Massie that I need to say. Two, to be exact. The first? Way back in eighth grade. When I started dating Derrick."_

Crap. I had completely forgotten abut that. Massie and Derrick had some fight, and then, next thing I know, Derrick and Dylan were dating. They were good together too. At least, I thought so. I was dating Alicia then…wow. That was a hell of a long time ago.

"_So, I thought I was about the luckiest girl in the world. The truth? I had like Derrick for like, ever. Like, since we were in sixth grade. Don't worry Derrick; I'll elaborate with many ego-boosting comments when it's your turn, though God knows you don't need them."_

"_Anyway, this is about Massie. Now, I won't say much on this. What really killed me about this Massie? When we got back together after that fight, you made us break up. Yeah Derrick, that was why. I didn't actually dump you for Jack Lewis, I was forced to break up with you for a new H.A.R.T."_

I listened carefully. Derrick had been so confused when Dylan dumped him. We all just thought Dylan gained a sudden, extreme crush on Jack Lewis, a transfer student from London. And what the hell was an H.A.R.T?

"_Why did I listen to you? Well, I have no friggen idea. Why did I listen to you? Why, why, why? Well, because I was afraid. I was afraid that, if I didn't, I would be rejected and have zero friends. I like to think now that that wouldn't have happened, but, to tell you the truth, I can't quite be sure._

"_Massie Block, you are a controlling bitch. I hope you know that. And I think you do. And, upon entering my sophomore year, it was proven to me in a newer and crueler way._

_Okay everyone, you all remember advisory, right?"_

Oh, God. Of course I remember advisory. They were meetings with a random group of four freshman, four sophomores, four juniors, four seniors, and one teacher advisor. The groups were supposed to be a way for the students to meet and hang out with people they might not already be friends with. A lot of people complained about how awful they were, but I didn't think mine was that bad. It was just one of those things that you just had to grin and bear, and that was it.

"_Well, I enter the meeting, and, along with two sophomores that I didn't really know, there was the one and only Massie Block. The other sophomores, Clay Jennings and Rachel Brown, were talking about how cool it was to have the most popular girl in the sophomore class in their advisory, while I was cursing you under my breath. And then I thought, hey. Maybe we can make this work. So, that day, we went through all the introductions and stuff, and I was trying to build up the courage to talk to you after class, and I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. So, I promised myself that I would talk to you tomorrow. So, the next day, I go to advisory, and you're not there. Instead, some pimpled kid named Kenneth was there instead. Perplexed, I asked Mrs. Sullivan where you were. And you know what she said, boys and girls?_

"'_Oh, sorry Dylan. Massie has requested to be moved to another advisory due to a personal conflict.'"_

Whoa. I didn't even know you could do that. I didn't even know that their fight was so bad. But I guess it was. God.

"_So Massie, I was a 'personal conflict' against you? Was that because I used to be your friend? Because I knew your big secret? You wanted to avoid any contact with me that you could? Because I will tell, right now. _

"_Yes, it is true. Massie Block slept with Cam Fisher, back in seventh grade. Sorry Cammie."_

WHAT? Um, that's not good. Um, that's really bad. Uh, she has to be freaken kidding.

"_Gross, huh? Yeah. And Cam was going out with Claire, too. And, of course, Massie and Derrick were in their freakish on/off thing. So…yeah. Ew. It sucks for them. Try not to spread the rumor too quickly guys._

"_See Massie? Bitches suck."_

The track ended, and I could practically _hear_ Dylan smiling. Towards the end, she hated Massie. Just couldn't stand her. And now she had the revenge she was looking for. I thought of the rumor mill at school. I thought of Cam, who was dating Kori, and Massie, who was dating Chris Plovert. How this would affect their lives. And, for a second, I wondered who to feel sorry for.

But then I looked at the iPod in my hands.

And I pressed next track.


	3. Alicia

**A/N Alright, now its Alicia. This was kinda hard to write guys. I'm am SO sorry it took so long though. Reveiw, lovies.**

_"Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, and you're all appropriately shocked, let's move on. Now, when I first considered making these tapes, I was poitive that Massie was going first. I was sure. Now, second was harder. Who did it come down to, in the end? Alicia or Derrick. And, in the end, I decided on Alicia. Why, you people may ask? Because Alicia was always second to Massie. And to tell you the truth Alicia, I felt sort of bad for you. In this case, 'sort of' are the key words. Now, all you boys who have these tracks, think back to when you all met the infamous Pretty Committee."_

Okay, that was easy. I met them when I transfered into Briarwood back in middle school. Even then they were completely...I feel bad saying snobby, but they kinda were.

_"We weren't always the dynamic group that we were in middle school. We did go to elementary school once. And, let me tell you, we were very different. Kristen had money back then, but she went to Josephine F. Kotchman elementary school. I know, shock and betrayal! Not all of us went to St. Katherine's! Someone did go to a public school!"_

She was right. I was shocked. But that was because _I_ went Kotchman Elementary. I never knew Kristen went there. I wonder if I should ask her about it? But what if she didn't listen to the tracks...?

_"But, Massie and Alicia and I went to St. Katherine's. Was that where our friendship started? Were we the trendy kindergarteners starting as BFFs in the dress up corner? No. In fact, I was best friends with Alicia. We met back in second grade, when we put in the same class and assigned to work on a science fair project together. We chose to learn about lady bugs. That was when we became best friends. We had study sessions at my house, because my mom always let us use the computer, which was way better than books even at the age, and then we'd go to her house and hang out, because we could have any snacks we wanted. We were made to be friends. We liked the same foods, clothes, the same boys even. Kemp, I gotta tell you, we so were in love with you in third grade. We thought you were the cutest guy ever. Don't count on that every happening again, by the way._

_But, back to our amazing friendship. Even our mothers became friends because we were together so often. The talk show host and the former model...they were perfect. And so were we._

_Until fifth grade."_

I tried to remember if they had started OCD by fifth grade. Kotchman went up to fifth, but I wasn't sure if St. Katherine's did.

_"That was when Ali Balfour's father got a new job some where in East Banana and they moved, leaving Miss Massie Block best friend-less._

Now, Alicia and I had always been fascinated by Massie. We were fascinated by the fact that everyone was fascinated by her. Does that make any sense?"

It kind of did. Everyone seemed to worship Massie, but no one could really say why.

_"And then that fateful day came along. Second day of fifth grade at ol' St. Katherine's, and our lunch table suddenly had a new guest. No 'can I sit with you?' or anything, just Massie Block, suddenly sitting at the previously unoccupied chair. We were impressed with her guts, just to up and sit with us. When she said that she wanted to be our friends, we were shocked. But neither of us wanted to admit it, so we just stayed cool and said that that would be fine with us. When we met after school that day, we secretly decided to out her on a trial period, where if she did anything that either of us didn't like, it would be over._

_Now, Alicia, I wish I could have another certain story for you, like I did for Massie, and I have for many of the rest of you."_

Of course, my mind begin to wander. What did she have on me?

_"But, alas, I can find no certain time. I just remember a lot of missed ice cream runs, forgotten sleepovers, and ditched play dates, because you were suddenly so busy with your new best friend. And that hurt. It hurt a lot. And, when it comes down to it, you spent much of that friendship attempting to escape Massie! I don't get you Alicia. Make up your mind girl. That was why I was so happy when Kristen came. And, incidentally, why I was so unhappy when Claire came--I still wanted Alicia to like me, but Alicia liked Massie more, so I did whatever Massie did._

_In conclusion Alicia, you are a back-stabbing loser. And I have no idea how Kelsey Goodman manages to put up with you. Maybe you've changed. I hope you've changed. But, if you have, it wasn't soon enough."_

Looking at the iPod in my hands, I listened to the dead air that continued to play even after her voice was gone. And I realized something. Even though what she was talking about was incredibly depressing and sad, Dylan sounded almost...happy. That was probably the most depressing of all--the last best thing she could have done in her life is spell out exactly what everyone had done for her.

My head was spinning. I needed to get out. Yanking out the headphones and flinging the iPod onto the bed, I somehow remembered to grap my car keys in the sudden rush to get out of the house. And I drove to the only place I could think of on such short notice.


End file.
